very very very very depressed

have no idea why

stay far far away from me please

what scares me most is there is no reasoning for this, it came on so fast and I don't know why. Nothing has happened, by all rights I should be happy, but I am somewhere between wanting to hurt myself and cry. I laid in bed for over 8 hours today waiting for a phone call I knew wasn't going to come.

One half of me can think rationally, the other half is completely controlled by my emotions, it is rash, often violent and quick to see-saw between absolute despair and total, unchecked rage. My self-punishing nature is in full force.

The people I love, stay far away from me. I am much too unstable right now.

Blah blah blah...

So....
hmm....

nothing unusual to report.


Today was rainy... might have a job soon... tired...






oh and uh.... I heart my ninja! :)