I've neglected to put this on my blog before because I feel it is not up to my standards and is not a true reflection of how much these people mean to me. I have never had very many friends, largely due to the fact that I was very isolated as a child. I have always been exceedingly shy, very anti-social and lack confidence in social situations. As I became older, some took this shyness for arrogance and it further crippled my self image. I found solace in my faith, books, my unending appetite for knowledge and sometimes self damnation. It is through the people that I profile below that I have become the person I am today. They rescued me from a place in my own mind and helped me to 'Make the Best Better' not only for myself, but for others. They taught me to be a leader, they taught me to be a friend, and they taught me how wonderful it is to reach out and help someone else, even if only by the tiniest most insignificant gesture. To me, they mean the world. So here they are: my four best friends.
First up:
Chelsea Gerberding
Dean of Corruption
Black Hole of Rationality
The Phoenix...
I can remember the instant I first met Chelsea, it was during the Illinois Leadership Convention. My first ILC that I attended, she was on the planning committee. I will never forget pressing the button on the elevator at the Chancellor hotel, waiting patiently as the doors open and seeing Chelsea. Chelsea on a luggage cart wearing a cape. Super Chelsea she was, and Super Chelsea she is. I watched her, not knowing she was from my county, but loving her verve and glib tounge throughout the conference. Later, at County 4-H Show, I had my nose pressed against the glass of the Illini room waiting to be allowed inside for my international foods judging. There she was again! She was serving as a superintendant, and called me inside the large, cold room teeming with projects, and she talked with me briefly. I cannot remember the content of the conversation, but remember being so happy that she remembered me from ILC. Later, as I began attending Federation meetings, I became better acquainted with Chelsea and her role as a leader in the 4-H program and as an extraordinary individual. I remember after meeting her, always searching for her projects at County 4-H show: the honey from her family's hives and the artfully decorated glass Coca-Cola bottles. I felt special finding her projects, proud to know her, and idolizing her as an older and successful leader in a program I already knew and loved. She was the one who encouraged me to come Federation meetings, and eventually to join the State Youth Leadership Team, now my second family. Chelsea is an incredible person. Not only is it her 'fault' that I know 99.9 percent of my other friends, and all the rest of my best friends, she has always encouraged me to be better, and more importantly: happier. It is Chelsea who would coax me out into the open, hound my mother into letting me see movies with her or pal around with the boys. She was the one who came up with the idea that I was in a 'corruption school' of sorts by being with her and the boys, and each one of them was a certain professor of some crazy wild subject.
Chelsea is the one who showed me leadership is not only a wonderful way to give back, and not only am I very gifted with leading, but it is very FUN for me to do so. Chelsea has shown me FUN is not a bad word, and how FUN can make life worth living. Chelsea took me under her wing when so many people walked on by. She's the one who tolerated a quiet, nervous, sometimes seemingly uppity girl nobody knew and turned me into the joyful, playful little trickster fox I am now. She saved me from myself: from becoming one very sorrowful, mournful and depressing person. She kept me from being alone in the dark. Chelsea, you saved my life.
Then there's Josh Frank
Professor of Insanity Indoctrination
Sultry Kangaroo Boy
He-Who-Does-Not-Fall-Over
Tiger One
I think I connect the best mentally with Josh than my other friends. When I first met him I discovered we received the exact same ACT score. He was very quiet and reserved at first, just as I traditionally am around those I do not know. He is an intriguing young man. Josh is very introspective. If you ever happen to patronize the divinity that is his bloggage, take a look around. He has the innate ability to analyze like a true green and find connections to all other aspects of life. Josh is also a restless soul. He is bound and determined to make it around the world on a motorcycle, writing for a living perhaps. At one point he wanted to go live in Argentina for a while, a dream I wholeheartedly support as long as I get to come too! :)
But seriously, Josh is an incredible friend. He has always been one to strike up a conversation via IM when I'm having a bad day, and sit and rationalize everything out with me. He's very hopeful, a sort of cynical optimist if you will. I know, I know.. those two words are contradictory, but if you knew Josh you'd understand. What's also amazing about him is the fact that he is so varied in his talents, I consider him a renaissance man in his own right. After all, can you say you know Kiafaru Jitsu, play guitar, drive a stick shift, read obscure literature and understand it (!), make your own wine/beer, skilled artist and writer as well as a very capable leader and worker. Plus, he inherently CANNOT lose his balance. He is like a giant cat! I try and push him over and he just won't FALL. My friends and I say Josh doesn't fall, he hops at funny angles. He tolerates me most wonderfully. I have an odd fascination with tormenting Josh. You see, every time someone says or does something I find slightly embarrassing, annoying, or good naturedly malicious, I end up hitting him or some such. That's right, Chelsea can steal my phone from me or tease me. But who gets whacked upside the head? Josh, of course. I feel bad for it afterwards most times, but I just can't help it it seems. He's a convenient target. Lately, I have also become enamored of his shoelaces, again, something I haven't the foggiest idea about. I try to steal them constantly, or just plain rough house with him. He is very fun to torment, and Josh always allows me to attempt to strangle, push or sit on him with little more than a bemused smile and usually feeble attempt to defend himself. I think the relationship we have is similar to that of myself and my cousins. Very similar in fact... Also it is important to note that the destruction of the earth will be either my fault or his, we're not sure who's going to get there first...
Josh is always there for me. When I am facing a problem and I need someone intelligent and logical to help me analyze every bit while still managing to offer that comforting shoulder all my friends have. He is the quiet, reserved me in the form of a guy. He's like that very similar twin brother that somehow always knows what I am thinking. Josh always makes me look on the bright side when things look grim, he always gives this quiet strength to me that I never knew was there. Josh makes me laugh, but more importantly, he helps me laugh at myself and not be ashamed of it afterwards. Josh is my colleague, a fellow player in the game of life and my dear friend. Josh, you saved my life.
But the roster isn't finished yet, we've still got two more to go...
Jason Baker
Professor of Driving Way too Fast
My Asphalt Cowboy
Redneck Extraordinaire
Ahh Jason, my dear dear Cowboy. Jason and I first were acquainted at ILC my third year in attendance. I met both him and Brad (see next entry) when Chelsea spotted me in the hallway and called me over. She introduced them as fellow county 4-H members, and from then on the deal was sealed. We hung out as much as possible during ILC. A certain memory of sitting together at the banquet comes to mind, and burning the decorative sparkles on the table in the candles as well as a conversation that included myself being the female at the table with the fewest number of purses.
I cannot say we really hit it off though, until we went on Federation Trip. 4-H Federation Trip is held every year, so that members of the county can go on a 'mini vacation' together just to have fun. The year I went with Jason and Brad the group went to Current River in Missouri to go canoeing. It was a glorious trip that summer. Full of mud, mosquitoes, heat and lots of tipped canoes! I distinctly remember walking back towards the cabins with Jason, talking nonstop about cars, engines and NASCAR. Jason intrigued me, for what he thinks he lacks in book smarts, he more than makes up for with his practical knowledge of engines and scientific principles. He astounded me also with his deep moral convictions as well, for the long walk back to the cabin soon turned into a card game and later a conversation deep into the night on issues such as politics, morality, cars, trucks and careers. I thought it was great to find someone who respected my interests in what is considered a guy's hobby. I love to watch NASCAR and fast cars fascinate me. Plus all the silly little jokes and stories he knew as well as his good taste of 90's country and hard rock resounded with me as well. Now one of our favorite things to do is get on the internet and talk via microphone while I'm doing homework and he's chilling after class. Usually we end up playing songs we like off of youtube for each other, discussing the possibility of putting Lamborghini doors on my Sunfire or just talking about our days. Sometimes when I don't understand what he does at his school (being as he and Brad are both going into automotive fields) he takes the time to explain what nitrous systems are or how a dyno works. Other times we talk about politics or the environment. No matter what, when I'm with Jason I know I'll learn something new I never thought of before.
Jason is also very worrisome however. I don't think I've ever had the privilege of having a more concerned friend. Whenever I feel sick or tired he is the first to insist I go to bed or see a doctor, worried that it could be something worse or that I might be hurting. He's very caring in the way a redneck is, fiercely loyal to those he cares about while pretending it doesn't affect him: classic tough guy stance. I like to compare Jason to a golden retriever in this way. He's smart, protective, can learn anything in no time and appreciates the simple things in life. Jason is always willing to lend an ear to my problems. He's very good for discussing family issues with because his family and mine have similar attitudes. His caring nature and fun loving, 'good ol' boy' wildness have always made me crack a smile. Jason, you saved my life.
Brad Weber
Professor of Dirty Mindedness
Brad-The-Barney-Killer
Teddy Bear
Billy Bob
Brad and I met at ILC as well. We had a grand time there, for that is where he earned his inauspicious nickname of Brad-The-Barney-Killer. You see, the speaker we were listening to and had people listen to a clip of music and then tell their response to it. They played the Barney song and Brad said he felt like shooting something. Thus the legend of the Barney Killer was born. Brad is an interesting individual. He's very much the partier of our group. He loves to hang out with people, drive fast, and stay up late. He's also very cuddly though, an affectionate teddy bear if I've ever seen one. He may seem all rough and tough on the outside, but he's got that creamy warm center just like a fine piece of chocolate. I will never forget riding in his Crown Victoria to Wal-Mart during County 4-H Show Family Fun Night on the hunt for water balloons. I had never gone that fast in a vehicle before! Once we got to Wal-Mart we proceeded to hunt for water balloons and spongy pool toys to use as weapons. We had a grand time, raiding aisles and searching for the perfect 'weapons' of choice. Then we hopped back into the car and sped off towards the fairgrounds. It was Brad who mentioned "Josh" during a conversation in the car, and it was through his suggestion that I later met Josh and gained another great friend. Like Jason, Brad is also going into the automotive field. However, I've learned he has a great array of talents. Brad is an exceptionally good photographer, as I often admired his photos during County 4-H show. He was also a wonderful leader during 4-H Federation, for whenever the group started to argue or things came to a standstill, it was Brad who'd crack a joke to lighten the mood or offer a suggestion.
Brad is also very caring. When things get rough, you just can't help but want to cuddle up to him and pour your heart out. Brad is an excellent listener, but he gives great advice as well. He always teases me and pushes me to put a little bit more footloose and fancy free into my life. Brad is that big brother I never had. Brad, you saved my life.
* * *
Chelsea, Josh, Jason and Brad. You all saved my life in little ways you can't imagine. For talking to me, for laughing with me, for inviting me to hang out with you, for laughing at me when I do something stupid that you call cute, for listening to my trials and tribulations, for encouraging me when I'm up and when I'm down, for tolerating the rapid succession of annoying things I do throughout a daily basis, but most of all, for loving me as only you as my best friends can: Thank You. You saved my life.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
60 degree weather in January?! Ahhhh!
Oh how blessed is this day?! 60 degrees in January? Illinois sure is screwy, no? It's not uncommon for people to walk around in hoodies, shorts and flipflops. I was once on the way to class on a chilly day in September. I had thought it was going to be 80 or upwards like it had been the previous week, so I had worn a light cotton skirt and blouse. Of course, it's like 45 out that day so I'm freezing. But that's not the point, as I'm walking to class another guy says Hi to me, I return the greeting and as we share an elevator we get into a conversation. Apparently he's from Russia, and he tells me that this weather we have right now, (45 degrees) is particularly warm for him. I laugh, and tell him the joke about the hoodies and flipflops. Unfortunately he gives me this strange look, and asks me what the he** is a flipflop. Sometimes I need to be more aware, no?
But on to more important things. Today was aaammaaazzziiinnggg. I walked outside this morning and almost moaned but for the great temperature. Simply phenomenal. So I hurried as fast as I could to finish all on my 'to do' list and get outside. I went for an incredible run outside on my traditional route through town. Radio blasting in my ears, heart pounding, going harder and faster until you just feel like collapsing sometimes. It is an indescribable feeling when I finally finish my circuit and near the road my house is on. From the green street sign to my drive way I try to go an all out sprint. Then once i hit the drive way, run up it while holding my breath until the third crack in the driveway. Why you may ask? This forces the heart to work harder. After that it's a very brief cool down walk/jog or a bike ride to bring my heart rate back down.
Instead of a walk/jog, I went on a bike ride today after my run. I went out out in the country along the back fields and stopped for a little while to listen to the wind over the remnants of cornstalks and leaves. Then I moved on with the gorgeous grey sky above me, whirring down and up a hill until I reached the train tracks over Brush Creek (pronounced crik). All over the guard rails are all sorts of graffiti and underneath the bridge the water sat rather than gently trickled like it did normally. The only noise was the distant hum of cars on the interstate a mile to my west and the steadily increasing whispering of the wind.
Just now we had some pretty intense weather. As the afternoon faded the wind picked up and a storm blew right in. I was excited for some rain, but we basically just got lots of thunder and lightning. At one point a tree in another yard split, that was exciting! But after that there was lightning and I heard something explode, it shook the house. Then the sirens started going off so we had to go down in the basement. Sounded pretty bad upstairs for a little while, but it didn't last long. So now I am sitting here listening to ambulances sporadicly come and go into and out of town. This has me slightly scared and very curious. Ah, a friend has just called me and told me someone's garage has burnt down.
But on to more important things. Today was aaammaaazzziiinnggg. I walked outside this morning and almost moaned but for the great temperature. Simply phenomenal. So I hurried as fast as I could to finish all on my 'to do' list and get outside. I went for an incredible run outside on my traditional route through town. Radio blasting in my ears, heart pounding, going harder and faster until you just feel like collapsing sometimes. It is an indescribable feeling when I finally finish my circuit and near the road my house is on. From the green street sign to my drive way I try to go an all out sprint. Then once i hit the drive way, run up it while holding my breath until the third crack in the driveway. Why you may ask? This forces the heart to work harder. After that it's a very brief cool down walk/jog or a bike ride to bring my heart rate back down.
Instead of a walk/jog, I went on a bike ride today after my run. I went out out in the country along the back fields and stopped for a little while to listen to the wind over the remnants of cornstalks and leaves. Then I moved on with the gorgeous grey sky above me, whirring down and up a hill until I reached the train tracks over Brush Creek (pronounced crik). All over the guard rails are all sorts of graffiti and underneath the bridge the water sat rather than gently trickled like it did normally. The only noise was the distant hum of cars on the interstate a mile to my west and the steadily increasing whispering of the wind.
Just now we had some pretty intense weather. As the afternoon faded the wind picked up and a storm blew right in. I was excited for some rain, but we basically just got lots of thunder and lightning. At one point a tree in another yard split, that was exciting! But after that there was lightning and I heard something explode, it shook the house. Then the sirens started going off so we had to go down in the basement. Sounded pretty bad upstairs for a little while, but it didn't last long. So now I am sitting here listening to ambulances sporadicly come and go into and out of town. This has me slightly scared and very curious. Ah, a friend has just called me and told me someone's garage has burnt down.
Friday, December 28, 2007
In response to another's blog...
This is in response to a post found at the blog Curt's Mind
Amen!
I shudder to think of some of the awful things people do in God's name, but then I see all the truly good things people do for the same reasons. [BEGIN OFF TOPICNESS] As some of you may or may not know, I was raised a Southern Baptist, but I practice Christianity distinctly differently. I believe in a personal relationship with God, and most of my worship, prayer etc is done between God and I. I study the bible, I interact in religious discussions with others (both of and not of the same faith) and try to live the way I think God would want me to live. I do not regularly attend a church, persay. I like to attend several different institutions for a variety,because I do not feel comfortable, nor do I feel like I gain anything from the 'group' environment many churches provide. This is not to say I lack any faith, mind you, I'm very solid on that. If you really know me, you're aware of that fact.
I'm rather interesting I think, because I tolerate other faiths or lack thereof very well. I have no problem with you if you are Jewish, Islamic, Shintoist, Wiccan, Atheist, Methodist, Lutheran, Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, I really don't think it should affect how i treat you as another human being. How i treat you, and how I relate to you will be based on factors like how you treat me, how you react to those around you and (heaven forbid, I'm so old fashioned...) your manners. I have friends in many diff religious or non religious schools of thought. I like this, it makes thinking more interesting to have that many influences. Many Christians may look at this and go, "Oh my gosh! Well, as long as you're not too good of friends with these people...". I have a very interesting response to this. It includes a story.
At my high school there was a girl in my class who's family was considered very 'model christians'. They went to Church Wednesdays and Sundays, very active in their Church, very charitable when opportunities to donate came up. I think that's all very well and good, but actions do not a Christian make in my eyes. It's what's in your heart that matters. As corny as that sounds, I believe it with every shred of my being. Although I do believe these people had accepted Jesus Christ as their lord and savior, which I also believe is necessary for being a Christian, I don't think they were quite getting the message God wanted them too. You see, they were very... close minded. This girl in my class, she continually harassed two other of my classmates who were catholics, whenever we would have religious discussions. All the rest of the time, she'd be cool with them, but when it came time to mount the soapbox, she did it with much gusto and much rancor. I detested this. Why treat them that way, how are you being an example for your faith if you treat others this way? There were other things that happened that exampled this as well, but i won't go into it.
My point is, how does anybody expect other people to respect or even join your way of thinking, your faith if you behave irreverently to other faiths or beliefs? Hmm? That irreverence and snideness that you may treat one person with may be the only memory they will ever hold on to of someone from your faith. "That stupid Southern Baptist girl..." "Those Jehovah Witnesses that always come to your door are always so..." "I can't believe that Islamic kid said that..." Honestly, think about it! What do we all think of when we hear 9/11? Islam/Muslims, right? Duh... Now, I'm NOT saying Islamics are by any means terrorists, AT ALL. But what I am doing is proving the fact that "First impressions last the longest" especially when it comes to concepts of others beliefs. Is it right? I don't think so... But then, that's up to you to decide, isn't it dear reader?
But then all of this brings me to my original thoughts on the post from Curt's Mind...
I have the tendency to drift off in thought and contemplate things at sometimes inopportune moments, and sometimes this contemplation brings m e to the most depressing train of thought on the motives of humanity. Are we all necessarily vile, base creatures? What is the concept and capacity for any human to recognize and understand it's fellow man? Why is it that when a hurricane strikes Louisiana there is an outpouring of goodwill but half a world away where there is ten times the destruction by an earthquake in a foreign country we do not have the same amount or more sympathy for those people? Shouldn't we be just as sympathetic, just as likely to empathize with all humans, all our fellow man?
This concerns and confuses me. I understand and yet I don't.
I've made the argument before that when something like Katrina happens it's closer to home, and its your fellow countrymen. But that should be debunked just as easily. I've never met any Katrina victims. Why should I be more sympathetic to them than I should those victims of the Indonesian quakes? I try playing the countrymen card too, but why should the fact that we are all from the same country tie us? Bah... one can argue nationalism in that case.. sentimental 'bs' so to speak... But at the same time don't we need that sentimental stuff? Doesn't that make you a country? Ah... but I'm getting away from my own original thought. Why are we more likely to be sympathetic to some then others? I understand yet I don't. Don't get me wrong, I'm a relatively tenderhearted person. I don't like to see anybody unhappy, in pain, or struggling. I'm a helper, a fixer, a PERFECTIONIST. God save me, I am. But this question is one I can't answer, how sad...
I'm very fond of the song Count Your Blessings. Have you ever heard it? If you read the lyrics it makes a lot of sense. Aside from the blatant religious connotation, What I'm talking about is making sure you remember all the cool, awesome oppotunities you have in life when things are going badly. I think we don't do enough of that. I'm guilty of that I think. I 'm guilty of lots of things. I'm by NO MEANS the person I want to be yet, but I'm getting there. Among those things I want to work on is being thankful for what and who I have in my life. I have all sorts of cool things, but so many don't have them. I really should be more thankful, and less COMPLAINING. I have a big thing about that... i hate complaining but i do so much of it... ahhhh..... Working on it, working on it.. .*nod nod*
In a touch of finality, i guess I can only do as the author suggests: pray the sun comes up every morning so I can thank God for a beautiful new day and hold tight to those I love cause I know they may not always be there. That may sound achingly sad to you, but not to me. I have all the hope in the world. I don't care if it's raining, grey, windy, blue skies, if there's a war, there's a hurt, there's a struggle or a challenge. It's still a beautiful day cause I'm still breathing and able to live it.
Who am I you ask?
I'm the Lady in Black.
Later Space Cowboy...
Amen!
I shudder to think of some of the awful things people do in God's name, but then I see all the truly good things people do for the same reasons. [BEGIN OFF TOPICNESS] As some of you may or may not know, I was raised a Southern Baptist, but I practice Christianity distinctly differently. I believe in a personal relationship with God, and most of my worship, prayer etc is done between God and I. I study the bible, I interact in religious discussions with others (both of and not of the same faith) and try to live the way I think God would want me to live. I do not regularly attend a church, persay. I like to attend several different institutions for a variety,because I do not feel comfortable, nor do I feel like I gain anything from the 'group' environment many churches provide. This is not to say I lack any faith, mind you, I'm very solid on that. If you really know me, you're aware of that fact.
I'm rather interesting I think, because I tolerate other faiths or lack thereof very well. I have no problem with you if you are Jewish, Islamic, Shintoist, Wiccan, Atheist, Methodist, Lutheran, Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, I really don't think it should affect how i treat you as another human being. How i treat you, and how I relate to you will be based on factors like how you treat me, how you react to those around you and (heaven forbid, I'm so old fashioned...) your manners. I have friends in many diff religious or non religious schools of thought. I like this, it makes thinking more interesting to have that many influences. Many Christians may look at this and go, "Oh my gosh! Well, as long as you're not too good of friends with these people...". I have a very interesting response to this. It includes a story.
At my high school there was a girl in my class who's family was considered very 'model christians'. They went to Church Wednesdays and Sundays, very active in their Church, very charitable when opportunities to donate came up. I think that's all very well and good, but actions do not a Christian make in my eyes. It's what's in your heart that matters. As corny as that sounds, I believe it with every shred of my being. Although I do believe these people had accepted Jesus Christ as their lord and savior, which I also believe is necessary for being a Christian, I don't think they were quite getting the message God wanted them too. You see, they were very... close minded. This girl in my class, she continually harassed two other of my classmates who were catholics, whenever we would have religious discussions. All the rest of the time, she'd be cool with them, but when it came time to mount the soapbox, she did it with much gusto and much rancor. I detested this. Why treat them that way, how are you being an example for your faith if you treat others this way? There were other things that happened that exampled this as well, but i won't go into it.
My point is, how does anybody expect other people to respect or even join your way of thinking, your faith if you behave irreverently to other faiths or beliefs? Hmm? That irreverence and snideness that you may treat one person with may be the only memory they will ever hold on to of someone from your faith. "That stupid Southern Baptist girl..." "Those Jehovah Witnesses that always come to your door are always so..." "I can't believe that Islamic kid said that..." Honestly, think about it! What do we all think of when we hear 9/11? Islam/Muslims, right? Duh... Now, I'm NOT saying Islamics are by any means terrorists, AT ALL. But what I am doing is proving the fact that "First impressions last the longest" especially when it comes to concepts of others beliefs. Is it right? I don't think so... But then, that's up to you to decide, isn't it dear reader?
But then all of this brings me to my original thoughts on the post from Curt's Mind...
I have the tendency to drift off in thought and contemplate things at sometimes inopportune moments, and sometimes this contemplation brings m e to the most depressing train of thought on the motives of humanity. Are we all necessarily vile, base creatures? What is the concept and capacity for any human to recognize and understand it's fellow man? Why is it that when a hurricane strikes Louisiana there is an outpouring of goodwill but half a world away where there is ten times the destruction by an earthquake in a foreign country we do not have the same amount or more sympathy for those people? Shouldn't we be just as sympathetic, just as likely to empathize with all humans, all our fellow man?
This concerns and confuses me. I understand and yet I don't.
I've made the argument before that when something like Katrina happens it's closer to home, and its your fellow countrymen. But that should be debunked just as easily. I've never met any Katrina victims. Why should I be more sympathetic to them than I should those victims of the Indonesian quakes? I try playing the countrymen card too, but why should the fact that we are all from the same country tie us? Bah... one can argue nationalism in that case.. sentimental 'bs' so to speak... But at the same time don't we need that sentimental stuff? Doesn't that make you a country? Ah... but I'm getting away from my own original thought. Why are we more likely to be sympathetic to some then others? I understand yet I don't. Don't get me wrong, I'm a relatively tenderhearted person. I don't like to see anybody unhappy, in pain, or struggling. I'm a helper, a fixer, a PERFECTIONIST. God save me, I am. But this question is one I can't answer, how sad...
I'm very fond of the song Count Your Blessings. Have you ever heard it? If you read the lyrics it makes a lot of sense. Aside from the blatant religious connotation, What I'm talking about is making sure you remember all the cool, awesome oppotunities you have in life when things are going badly. I think we don't do enough of that. I'm guilty of that I think. I 'm guilty of lots of things. I'm by NO MEANS the person I want to be yet, but I'm getting there. Among those things I want to work on is being thankful for what and who I have in my life. I have all sorts of cool things, but so many don't have them. I really should be more thankful, and less COMPLAINING. I have a big thing about that... i hate complaining but i do so much of it... ahhhh..... Working on it, working on it.. .*nod nod*
In a touch of finality, i guess I can only do as the author suggests: pray the sun comes up every morning so I can thank God for a beautiful new day and hold tight to those I love cause I know they may not always be there. That may sound achingly sad to you, but not to me. I have all the hope in the world. I don't care if it's raining, grey, windy, blue skies, if there's a war, there's a hurt, there's a struggle or a challenge. It's still a beautiful day cause I'm still breathing and able to live it.
Who am I you ask?
I'm the Lady in Black.
Later Space Cowboy...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wrapping paper + tape + sicssors = chaotic living room or death by sharp objects?
Objex hehehe... that's a fun way to spell objects.
I have a jacket someone gave me to fix a zipper on. But it is such a nice leather jacket, and it smells very nice too... mmmm I think I will not give it back... hehe :) Nah, I'll give it back after I fix it... well...eventually... maybe this summer...
You know, I make a lot of strange little sounds when I am happy or comfy or annoyed:
Meh meh - Could be just a 'filler' to say or could be used to express annoyance or confusion. When used in statement of confusion, usually accompanied by tilt of head, said to resemble a puppy or other small animal when this occurs.
"You should go left here.." "Meh meh? *tilt of head*"
Eeeee! - Usually an expression of excitement. As in "Eeee! Look! A frog!"
Chirps - Chirps or small high pitched noises that are sometimes screechy occur when very excited or cannot contain happiness. Usually heard when something new and unexpected happens.
"Oh my GOSH! The new Artemis Fowl book is out! *insert chirp here*" or " *Insert chirp here* I just got off the phone with Maria Arnold, they want me to come out to D.C. and serve on the Design Team!"
Growling - the expression of grrrr or other growly noise is meant to show good natured displeasure or annoyance. Usually displayed around those I show great affection for. Sometimes accompanied by a gentle hit to the head for retribution for whatever comment.
"Grrr.. Josh stop messing up my hair! I will have the shoelaces!" or Person A: "You're such a dork. *hugs*" Response: "Grrr..."
Squeaking - Squeaking is just that: squeaking, it sounds a lot like when you have a baby chick and they make the little 'peep' sound. Often when snuggling or cuddling or in any position where warm, comfy, and safe. Usually accompanied by random comments of dubious origin.
*squeak and snuggle* "I like ketchup. The end."
So, I'm sitting here wrapping Christams gifts for my family and watching Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe trying to figure out what to fix for dinner and how to do a power point presentation for a 4-H workshop I'm presenting... I have discovered that scissors are excellent pointy objects for cutting oneself when one is not paying attention to what one is doing. I have also discovered that I need a picture for the YLT slideshow still and I have made no effort to having it taken. I have talked about it, yes, but done anything? Of course not! Praise the procrastinator because it is he who shall inherit the earth... eventually........
It's is cold and melty and wet out. I have a divine urge to go run, but that is a bad idea as slush plus my uncoordination will most likely result in injury. Although, in a way that would be convenient you see as I have a doctor's appointment coming up... oh well...
Tra la la, lira lira lay.. you know I say that awful lot, it's actually from Sherlock Holmes in the last paragraph of The Adventure of the Red Headed League.
Hmm, I should probably retrieve the mail.... but I feel no desire to...
I have virtually accomplished nothing, I keep on getting distracted.
I need reading material. Fun reading material besides the typical manga or webcomic. I desire a NOVEL!!! Michael Crichton perhaps or even better, Dracula, or Twenty Years Later from Alexandre Dumas.
Surely surely, I say unto you, scissors and tape shall breed mass unrest among you, for they are instruments of the demise of our sanity.
I shall return to my wrapping, and cleaning of the house, and fixing of dinner and working on of great presentation. Jan jien*!
*Chinese for 'See you later!'
This post was brought to you in the style of Joshua T. Frank, cheers mate!
I have a jacket someone gave me to fix a zipper on. But it is such a nice leather jacket, and it smells very nice too... mmmm I think I will not give it back... hehe :) Nah, I'll give it back after I fix it... well...eventually... maybe this summer...
You know, I make a lot of strange little sounds when I am happy or comfy or annoyed:
Meh meh - Could be just a 'filler' to say or could be used to express annoyance or confusion. When used in statement of confusion, usually accompanied by tilt of head, said to resemble a puppy or other small animal when this occurs.
"You should go left here.." "Meh meh? *tilt of head*"
Eeeee! - Usually an expression of excitement. As in "Eeee! Look! A frog!"
Chirps - Chirps or small high pitched noises that are sometimes screechy occur when very excited or cannot contain happiness. Usually heard when something new and unexpected happens.
"Oh my GOSH! The new Artemis Fowl book is out! *insert chirp here*" or " *Insert chirp here* I just got off the phone with Maria Arnold, they want me to come out to D.C. and serve on the Design Team!"
Growling - the expression of grrrr or other growly noise is meant to show good natured displeasure or annoyance. Usually displayed around those I show great affection for. Sometimes accompanied by a gentle hit to the head for retribution for whatever comment.
"Grrr.. Josh stop messing up my hair! I will have the shoelaces!" or Person A: "You're such a dork. *hugs*" Response: "Grrr..."
Squeaking - Squeaking is just that: squeaking, it sounds a lot like when you have a baby chick and they make the little 'peep' sound. Often when snuggling or cuddling or in any position where warm, comfy, and safe. Usually accompanied by random comments of dubious origin.
*squeak and snuggle* "I like ketchup. The end."
So, I'm sitting here wrapping Christams gifts for my family and watching Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe trying to figure out what to fix for dinner and how to do a power point presentation for a 4-H workshop I'm presenting... I have discovered that scissors are excellent pointy objects for cutting oneself when one is not paying attention to what one is doing. I have also discovered that I need a picture for the YLT slideshow still and I have made no effort to having it taken. I have talked about it, yes, but done anything? Of course not! Praise the procrastinator because it is he who shall inherit the earth... eventually........
It's is cold and melty and wet out. I have a divine urge to go run, but that is a bad idea as slush plus my uncoordination will most likely result in injury. Although, in a way that would be convenient you see as I have a doctor's appointment coming up... oh well...
Tra la la, lira lira lay.. you know I say that awful lot, it's actually from Sherlock Holmes in the last paragraph of The Adventure of the Red Headed League.
Hmm, I should probably retrieve the mail.... but I feel no desire to...
I have virtually accomplished nothing, I keep on getting distracted.
I need reading material. Fun reading material besides the typical manga or webcomic. I desire a NOVEL!!! Michael Crichton perhaps or even better, Dracula, or Twenty Years Later from Alexandre Dumas.
Surely surely, I say unto you, scissors and tape shall breed mass unrest among you, for they are instruments of the demise of our sanity.
I shall return to my wrapping, and cleaning of the house, and fixing of dinner and working on of great presentation. Jan jien*!
*Chinese for 'See you later!'
This post was brought to you in the style of Joshua T. Frank, cheers mate!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Some things never change ... (a running commentary)
I know it'll never change.
People in this house cannot deal with frustration, any obstacle thrown in their way earns a roll of the eyes, a 'huff' of breath or rising temper.
No one can say anything nice to another.
The other day my mother fell, my father laughed, and proceeds to make fun of her for it. At first it was mildly funny, how many people do you know can fall flat on their face on a completely flat surface like the floor found in Best Buy? But the incident concerns me more. It means she has lost coordination or something is wrong medically.
Plus, isn't that sad too that your significant other can't say something kind to you? That's something my father cannot fathom. Why would I condescend to say something comforting? Something kind? Something uplifting? Perish the thought....
When I first received the phone call about my $20,000 scholarship last fall, when Mother told him the news, the first words out of his mouth were: "Well, how're you going to pay for the other $60k". That was pretty much it. Lit the flame under me like no other. Anger and sadness are good motivators for me. Especially anger. You don't tell me I can't do something. Cause not only will I prove you wrong but I'll beat your a double s and then some.
There they are again. Could you not be so screeching and loud? Some of us would like to preserve our sanity.
Complaining, ahhh how it grates on my nerves. Even when someone tries to do something nice. If one person in this household has a bad day, everybody has a bad day. Ignite a temper, and you'll be paying he** all day. Even when someone tries to help with something, they don't do it right and it has to be done my way, without even honoring the gesture.
Mother apparently refuses to realize the effect her temperment in responding to many of these situations has on my sister and I. We subconciously take cues from her. If she begins to become distressed, I respond by trying to remain calm and cool headed, while underneath I'm raging and boiling as well. Seething is a better word. I like that word, don't you?
I remember one time in Jr. High we had a very.... volatile class member. Should he become violent, it was asked that I try and calm him down. Why? Apparently the last time something happened, the teacher in the room thought I did a remarkable job of keeping my cool, and also, the class member in question always responded well when I talked to him. He was never a bad guy, never ever. He just had one heck of a bad home, and life had handed him a bad hand off the bottom of the deck. I always told him I thought he'd be something great, because out of all of us he had the most to overcome and for that reason would climb to success much higher than the rest of us. I don't know whether he ever believed me, but I always loved talking to him, I still don't understand why he was such a scapegoat of the class. Many of the things he did he couldn't control, part of it was the Touretts Syndrome he had: tapping repeatedly in class, foul language etc. It never really bothered me because I knew that it wasn't a voluntary thing, some of it was conditioning from his home. He always treated me very nicely, considered me a real lady. I, in turn, could do no less than afford him the same respect. We generally talked about music, he was a drummer and me with my piano. We both held a healthy respect for hard rock, and he taught me a lot about how just trying to understand people on their level can be invaluable in being a leader.
The real pretty popular girl of my class, she loved to pick on him. I don't understand why, he was never a threat to her. He just wanted to be happy and have friends. But in a small school, one person can take you out pretty easily by turning the rest against you. You have to learn to play the game. I guess that's a life lesson, eh? But something like that, after 12 years.... well it can turn you bitter on life in general if you aren't careful.
Gyah.... For cryin' out loud folks, is that really such a big deal?... mehhh... just please stop... this can be dealt with without so much turmoil...
I function much better when by myself. For instance, registering for college would have been INSANELY smoother had my Mother not been there. She makes me nervous sometimes just because she tries so hard to be ... whatever it is she's trying to be. I pity her too... she's not got much in the way of friends. She certainly doesn't go out to eat with friends, or shopping or any of that normal stuff. But then, neither do I... I am just now really getting into that sort of thing with my friends now that I'm in college. I think part of it has been that for years and years and years I was my Mother's best friend. I still am in a way, I don't dislike the job. But I think venting to me as a much younger child made me grow up too fast, and it has caused for me to be very confused on how I should act and what is appropriate. But then, everyone needs someone to talk to right? I guess that's not a fair argument. Besides, as I say, I've passed that stretch of highway, and I can't go back and fill in the potholes. That would be pointless.
So I'm looking at the road of Winter Break. I'm not seeing much I like. This Saturday will really be the climax so to speak. It could go mildly bad or really really really really really bad. I can see some pretty bad scenarios, several of which involve the police... I pray it doesn't turn to that. I'd rather just leave with some hurt feelings and this new found self-pride of mine a little bruised.
Oohhh Holidays... how I despise thee. I'd much rather have sunshine, nice country road before me, pair of shoes on my feet and running on and on just total relaxation while still striving to be better. Snow isn't very complementary to running. It tends to break bones and cause hypothermia :). Ah well, there's always some light strength training....
Although I must admit I am one for a snowball fight, so playful. I would like to be playful, but I feel so sucked of all my positive feeling... My cynicism has come back full strength, lately it's abated slightly for being hopeful. Bah... hopeful.... how cliched.
I know it'll never change
But can't I try to change it all the same?
What's wrong with being hopeful?
What's wrong with caring?
Breaks your heart, they say.
It'll drive you insane, they say.
Huh, how lucky I answer,
I'm already insane.
Already there to stay.
Lady in Black, ever yours always....
People in this house cannot deal with frustration, any obstacle thrown in their way earns a roll of the eyes, a 'huff' of breath or rising temper.
No one can say anything nice to another.
The other day my mother fell, my father laughed, and proceeds to make fun of her for it. At first it was mildly funny, how many people do you know can fall flat on their face on a completely flat surface like the floor found in Best Buy? But the incident concerns me more. It means she has lost coordination or something is wrong medically.
Plus, isn't that sad too that your significant other can't say something kind to you? That's something my father cannot fathom. Why would I condescend to say something comforting? Something kind? Something uplifting? Perish the thought....
When I first received the phone call about my $20,000 scholarship last fall, when Mother told him the news, the first words out of his mouth were: "Well, how're you going to pay for the other $60k". That was pretty much it. Lit the flame under me like no other. Anger and sadness are good motivators for me. Especially anger. You don't tell me I can't do something. Cause not only will I prove you wrong but I'll beat your a double s and then some.
There they are again. Could you not be so screeching and loud? Some of us would like to preserve our sanity.
Complaining, ahhh how it grates on my nerves. Even when someone tries to do something nice. If one person in this household has a bad day, everybody has a bad day. Ignite a temper, and you'll be paying he** all day. Even when someone tries to help with something, they don't do it right and it has to be done my way, without even honoring the gesture.
Mother apparently refuses to realize the effect her temperment in responding to many of these situations has on my sister and I. We subconciously take cues from her. If she begins to become distressed, I respond by trying to remain calm and cool headed, while underneath I'm raging and boiling as well. Seething is a better word. I like that word, don't you?
I remember one time in Jr. High we had a very.... volatile class member. Should he become violent, it was asked that I try and calm him down. Why? Apparently the last time something happened, the teacher in the room thought I did a remarkable job of keeping my cool, and also, the class member in question always responded well when I talked to him. He was never a bad guy, never ever. He just had one heck of a bad home, and life had handed him a bad hand off the bottom of the deck. I always told him I thought he'd be something great, because out of all of us he had the most to overcome and for that reason would climb to success much higher than the rest of us. I don't know whether he ever believed me, but I always loved talking to him, I still don't understand why he was such a scapegoat of the class. Many of the things he did he couldn't control, part of it was the Touretts Syndrome he had: tapping repeatedly in class, foul language etc. It never really bothered me because I knew that it wasn't a voluntary thing, some of it was conditioning from his home. He always treated me very nicely, considered me a real lady. I, in turn, could do no less than afford him the same respect. We generally talked about music, he was a drummer and me with my piano. We both held a healthy respect for hard rock, and he taught me a lot about how just trying to understand people on their level can be invaluable in being a leader.
The real pretty popular girl of my class, she loved to pick on him. I don't understand why, he was never a threat to her. He just wanted to be happy and have friends. But in a small school, one person can take you out pretty easily by turning the rest against you. You have to learn to play the game. I guess that's a life lesson, eh? But something like that, after 12 years.... well it can turn you bitter on life in general if you aren't careful.
Gyah.... For cryin' out loud folks, is that really such a big deal?... mehhh... just please stop... this can be dealt with without so much turmoil...
I function much better when by myself. For instance, registering for college would have been INSANELY smoother had my Mother not been there. She makes me nervous sometimes just because she tries so hard to be ... whatever it is she's trying to be. I pity her too... she's not got much in the way of friends. She certainly doesn't go out to eat with friends, or shopping or any of that normal stuff. But then, neither do I... I am just now really getting into that sort of thing with my friends now that I'm in college. I think part of it has been that for years and years and years I was my Mother's best friend. I still am in a way, I don't dislike the job. But I think venting to me as a much younger child made me grow up too fast, and it has caused for me to be very confused on how I should act and what is appropriate. But then, everyone needs someone to talk to right? I guess that's not a fair argument. Besides, as I say, I've passed that stretch of highway, and I can't go back and fill in the potholes. That would be pointless.
So I'm looking at the road of Winter Break. I'm not seeing much I like. This Saturday will really be the climax so to speak. It could go mildly bad or really really really really really bad. I can see some pretty bad scenarios, several of which involve the police... I pray it doesn't turn to that. I'd rather just leave with some hurt feelings and this new found self-pride of mine a little bruised.
Oohhh Holidays... how I despise thee. I'd much rather have sunshine, nice country road before me, pair of shoes on my feet and running on and on just total relaxation while still striving to be better. Snow isn't very complementary to running. It tends to break bones and cause hypothermia :). Ah well, there's always some light strength training....
Although I must admit I am one for a snowball fight, so playful. I would like to be playful, but I feel so sucked of all my positive feeling... My cynicism has come back full strength, lately it's abated slightly for being hopeful. Bah... hopeful.... how cliched.
I know it'll never change
But can't I try to change it all the same?
What's wrong with being hopeful?
What's wrong with caring?
Breaks your heart, they say.
It'll drive you insane, they say.
Huh, how lucky I answer,
I'm already insane.
Already there to stay.
Lady in Black, ever yours always....
Thursday, December 13, 2007
A Myriad of Music
As I am looking though my YouTube account today, I am noticing a pattern: there is not pattern. I am completely all over the map when it comes to musicality. Today, a certain ninja who shall remain nameless, gave me a large amount of music. He is attempting to 'expand' my musical horizons so he says, however I would like to say with the example of my YouTube account, I am already quite open minded. My listing on YouTube includes:
Disturbed - Down with the Sickness
Saliva - Ladies and Gentlemen
Internatinal Staff Songsters - Count Your Blessings
Tyrone Wells - Looking at her Face
Rush - Xanadu
Rise Against - Prayer of the Refugee
Garth Brooks - Wrapped Up In You
Jimmy Buffett - Margaritaville
Eagles - Tequila Sunrise
AC/DC - Back in Black
Led Zepplin - Kashmir
Yoko Kanno - Piano Bar
Rodney Atkins - About the South
Metallica - Fuel
Chuck Berry - Johnny B. Goode
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Looking Out My Backdoor
Avenged Sevenfold - Seize the Day
Chris Thomas King - Hard Time Killing the Blues
Evanescence - Going Under
Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noise
Chris Rice - Go Light Your World
10 Years - Wasteland
Celtic Woman - The Prayer
T.M. Revolution - Heart of the Sword
Billy Joel - And So It Goes
Declan O Rourke - Sara
Luke Bryan - All My Friends Say
I'd like to explain a bit too if you don't mind. You see, I was raised on country music. Every sunday I'd ride in the car to church (We go to church in a different county than the one I live in, thus the drive was about half an hour.)listening to the tail end of a classic country western radio show and then on to NASCAR USA. That's right ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't quite figured it out I am a redneck: proud of it too. NASCAR USA usually profiled the 'newer' country of the day, with artists like Vince Gill, Alan Jackson, Martina McBride, Kenney Chesney, Toby Keith and the like. We did not purchase music at my house, CD's were usually a christmas gift, and I typically asked for something like Toby Keith, Charlie Daniels or something. Since I am also a pianist of sorts, I was also greatly influenced by the material I played. My instructor for my eight years of piano lessons was an older lady who lived in town. She played for all the graduation ceremonies and for the Methodist Church on the square. Obviously, my influences there was lots of old hymns, Brahms, Bach, Chopin, and other classical composers as well as many obscure modern composers. I enjoyed playing Beethoven especially, he had such a verve, even if he was deaf the last half of his life. However, classical and country does not a renaissance woman make, and I consider myself a renaissance woman for sure. So as I began high school I began to tinker with the dial on the radio...
What's this? What's this? So loud, so vivacious so wonderfully strong! I had discovered the greatness of hard rock. As I became a runner, I found hard rock was a god send in getting my blood pumping and focusing my resolve, rock became a release. I adore artists like Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Distrubed, Breaking Benjamin, HIM, Candlebox and Seether. Lyrics can speak just as well in a rock song coming out in a near scream as can be phrased by any country crooner. Rock speaks to my soul I think, while Country works on my ideals. Perhaps that's not fair to say... but for now I suppose...
Rock, country, classical? Is that all? That's what you may be asking. Ah my dear reader, of course not. I do enjoy the music of my parents as well: Lynyrd Skynrd was my first delving into the subject, then Pat Benatar from my mother's record collection as well some wonderful Ted Nugent and Pure Prairie League. World music is also really fun, especially japanese bands. I love to listen to the Seat Belts and anything by Yoko Kanno, T.M. Revolution, and Toy Box. Then there is a true product of World music, my amazing peeps from The Pocket Band! Oh yes! A fusion of reggae, jazz and blues. IT"S AMAZING. They performed at the 2007 John Deere Leader's Academy (Which yours truly helped plan! great experience, and all the guys are super nice!). Please check out their incredible music at www.thepocketband.com
Well that's just scratched the surface of what I like. That's not even counting the many performers in the area or around the country I've seen through my involvement with Extension. The Puerto Rican 4-H Performers at National 4-H Congress : AMAZING! You guys need to get a video up pronto! Also, a huge shout out to my 4-H boys in Deleware of the band SoundBreak, keep up the great work and turn out a website so I can post ya'll!
If you'd like to see a bit of what I listen too here are the above mentioned in a special 'Mix It Up' Playlist courtesy of YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=425DE0965B609A84
Don't you just love technology?
Sincerely, but not merely, musically yours,
Lady in Black
Disturbed - Down with the Sickness
Saliva - Ladies and Gentlemen
Internatinal Staff Songsters - Count Your Blessings
Tyrone Wells - Looking at her Face
Rush - Xanadu
Rise Against - Prayer of the Refugee
Garth Brooks - Wrapped Up In You
Jimmy Buffett - Margaritaville
Eagles - Tequila Sunrise
AC/DC - Back in Black
Led Zepplin - Kashmir
Yoko Kanno - Piano Bar
Rodney Atkins - About the South
Metallica - Fuel
Chuck Berry - Johnny B. Goode
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Looking Out My Backdoor
Avenged Sevenfold - Seize the Day
Chris Thomas King - Hard Time Killing the Blues
Evanescence - Going Under
Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noise
Chris Rice - Go Light Your World
10 Years - Wasteland
Celtic Woman - The Prayer
T.M. Revolution - Heart of the Sword
Billy Joel - And So It Goes
Declan O Rourke - Sara
Luke Bryan - All My Friends Say
I'd like to explain a bit too if you don't mind. You see, I was raised on country music. Every sunday I'd ride in the car to church (We go to church in a different county than the one I live in, thus the drive was about half an hour.)listening to the tail end of a classic country western radio show and then on to NASCAR USA. That's right ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't quite figured it out I am a redneck: proud of it too. NASCAR USA usually profiled the 'newer' country of the day, with artists like Vince Gill, Alan Jackson, Martina McBride, Kenney Chesney, Toby Keith and the like. We did not purchase music at my house, CD's were usually a christmas gift, and I typically asked for something like Toby Keith, Charlie Daniels or something. Since I am also a pianist of sorts, I was also greatly influenced by the material I played. My instructor for my eight years of piano lessons was an older lady who lived in town. She played for all the graduation ceremonies and for the Methodist Church on the square. Obviously, my influences there was lots of old hymns, Brahms, Bach, Chopin, and other classical composers as well as many obscure modern composers. I enjoyed playing Beethoven especially, he had such a verve, even if he was deaf the last half of his life. However, classical and country does not a renaissance woman make, and I consider myself a renaissance woman for sure. So as I began high school I began to tinker with the dial on the radio...
What's this? What's this? So loud, so vivacious so wonderfully strong! I had discovered the greatness of hard rock. As I became a runner, I found hard rock was a god send in getting my blood pumping and focusing my resolve, rock became a release. I adore artists like Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Distrubed, Breaking Benjamin, HIM, Candlebox and Seether. Lyrics can speak just as well in a rock song coming out in a near scream as can be phrased by any country crooner. Rock speaks to my soul I think, while Country works on my ideals. Perhaps that's not fair to say... but for now I suppose...
Rock, country, classical? Is that all? That's what you may be asking. Ah my dear reader, of course not. I do enjoy the music of my parents as well: Lynyrd Skynrd was my first delving into the subject, then Pat Benatar from my mother's record collection as well some wonderful Ted Nugent and Pure Prairie League. World music is also really fun, especially japanese bands. I love to listen to the Seat Belts and anything by Yoko Kanno, T.M. Revolution, and Toy Box. Then there is a true product of World music, my amazing peeps from The Pocket Band! Oh yes! A fusion of reggae, jazz and blues. IT"S AMAZING. They performed at the 2007 John Deere Leader's Academy (Which yours truly helped plan! great experience, and all the guys are super nice!). Please check out their incredible music at www.thepocketband.com
Well that's just scratched the surface of what I like. That's not even counting the many performers in the area or around the country I've seen through my involvement with Extension. The Puerto Rican 4-H Performers at National 4-H Congress : AMAZING! You guys need to get a video up pronto! Also, a huge shout out to my 4-H boys in Deleware of the band SoundBreak, keep up the great work and turn out a website so I can post ya'll!
If you'd like to see a bit of what I listen too here are the above mentioned in a special 'Mix It Up' Playlist courtesy of YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=425DE0965B609A84
Don't you just love technology?
Sincerely, but not merely, musically yours,
Lady in Black
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Finals week...
Oh goodness.... do I feel awful, I am not up to par so I'm not even going to attempt to be my usual somewhat cognizant self....
So far the week of finals has not been a good one. A: I can tell I'm getting sick. B: I'm sleep deprived. C: I don't eat on a regular schedule anyway... D: ummm..... nevermind...
I am random at the current moment. I have decided to dedicate this evening to the attempt to relax and possibly some sleep here in a little while.
I am positively scatterbrained of late. I positively CANNOT focus. This is not simply procrastination. Everytime I attempt to focus on the task at hand, the list of things still yet undone floats to the top of my head and I begin planning what next I need to do. It frustrates me to no end...
Especially when I was attempting to finish my spanish test and I blanked every five seconds because my ridiculous brain could not stop trying to figure out when x, x, and x were going to get done...
Then I had to rush to dance lessons that night because class ran late, and I couldn't figure out how to get to the Hoogland center for a while because where I normally turn at the rail road tracks was blocked off. I was too the point then that I was about ready to just give up. It took me more than a little patience and some attempts to calm my self down mentally before I finally figured out how to get there. Then once I arrived the first dance I do is the Crystal Schottish: the one stupid set i can't figure the rhythm on.... how pathetic. But after a while, we moved on to the Lanciers which I infinitely love to dance, so that was slightly better.
Earlier that night some guy who lives a floor up for me somehow got wind that I might have an extra poster board (?). He came down to try and buy one off of me, but as I told him i didn't have an extra, he looked so sad and forlorn that me and my big mouth offered to pick his group up one after my dance lesson. So what do I do when I am stressed and don't feel well? I cannot say no....
So that was how I found myself at Wal-Mart on Dirksen at roughly 9:30 pm last night, searching out a poster board and since I had not eaten that day yet, I found something to eat as well. (However this was not one of my better ideas as it did not stay down very well and made for a rather dismal night anyway.) I then had to rush back to LRH to meet with the only member of my poster group who gave a flippin' care to piece together our poster. God love the girl, but it took entirely too long to paste everything on the board. We had to print out the other group member's paragraphs because the majority of them were last minute submissions that had to be hunted down and choked from them. Group projects quite plainly suck, I have bad luck in that i am usually the one left holding the bag because I actually CARE about my grade. Anyway, it took entirely too long to put together the poster than it should have. We went from 10:30 to 12:30, when in reality, since I had everything as far as pictures printed and cut out, it should have been more like a thirty minute, fourty-five minute ordeal. But, it looked good so that's all that matters I suppose....
From then, I slept for a while then woke up because the girls on the side of the hall opposite me were banging on the doors again. I swear, can people in this building not be quiet?! I cannot sleep in this place. I wish I had my own apartment (which is cheaper than a dorm, amazingly) so that it could be quieter, and I could have Chelsea, Josh, Jason, Brad and Chris over when ever I please. I also would be afforded some privacy and I could decorate as I like.
Today's poster session was .... meh.. in my opinion. As the other group members hadn't the foggiest as to what was going on they mainly wandered and did evaluations of other groups, while leaving myself and the other girl to explain our poster. Again, God love the girl, but she has entirely too soft a voice and she, like myself, was a bit miffed on how to explain the project. I mean, what was the purpose? How is this educating anyone? Why? What is the goal being achieved. I need some goals to even out my education here, I need something to set a target on, to aim for. Yes I am ending a sentence with a preposition, got a problem with that? I am tired and thus care not for your english grammar grumblings.
Right now I am exhausted, I still feel pretty crummy, but I don't have the energy to go work out to make myself feel better. It feels like more and more I'm just plain tired. It really bothers me as I feel like that's part of the reason why I'm not achieving like normal. The other part would have to be my general discontent with my college education in general. My dislike of the CAP program seems to grow daily, I feel as though I am getting jipped. However, at the same time, I am loathe to give away the silly little title of 'Honors Student'. How stupid. But then, I suppose, dear reader, if you have seen the walls of my room, you'd know why I like to be the 'Honors Student' and why I value success so highly.
I abhor winter. Why is it so cold? Hmm? Spring, Fall are preferred in my book and Summer is ok, but honestly... winter? grrr....
I feel like I am complaining. I despise complaining. It make me feel bad about myself and makes me feel weak. I am not weak, and I am not a complainer. I shall stop this blog post, but hopefully it will be enough to appease one of my dear readers.
I end with this.
The shoelaces shall be mine.
God bless ya'll
So far the week of finals has not been a good one. A: I can tell I'm getting sick. B: I'm sleep deprived. C: I don't eat on a regular schedule anyway... D: ummm..... nevermind...
I am random at the current moment. I have decided to dedicate this evening to the attempt to relax and possibly some sleep here in a little while.
I am positively scatterbrained of late. I positively CANNOT focus. This is not simply procrastination. Everytime I attempt to focus on the task at hand, the list of things still yet undone floats to the top of my head and I begin planning what next I need to do. It frustrates me to no end...
Especially when I was attempting to finish my spanish test and I blanked every five seconds because my ridiculous brain could not stop trying to figure out when x, x, and x were going to get done...
Then I had to rush to dance lessons that night because class ran late, and I couldn't figure out how to get to the Hoogland center for a while because where I normally turn at the rail road tracks was blocked off. I was too the point then that I was about ready to just give up. It took me more than a little patience and some attempts to calm my self down mentally before I finally figured out how to get there. Then once I arrived the first dance I do is the Crystal Schottish: the one stupid set i can't figure the rhythm on.... how pathetic. But after a while, we moved on to the Lanciers which I infinitely love to dance, so that was slightly better.
Earlier that night some guy who lives a floor up for me somehow got wind that I might have an extra poster board (?). He came down to try and buy one off of me, but as I told him i didn't have an extra, he looked so sad and forlorn that me and my big mouth offered to pick his group up one after my dance lesson. So what do I do when I am stressed and don't feel well? I cannot say no....
So that was how I found myself at Wal-Mart on Dirksen at roughly 9:30 pm last night, searching out a poster board and since I had not eaten that day yet, I found something to eat as well. (However this was not one of my better ideas as it did not stay down very well and made for a rather dismal night anyway.) I then had to rush back to LRH to meet with the only member of my poster group who gave a flippin' care to piece together our poster. God love the girl, but it took entirely too long to paste everything on the board. We had to print out the other group member's paragraphs because the majority of them were last minute submissions that had to be hunted down and choked from them. Group projects quite plainly suck, I have bad luck in that i am usually the one left holding the bag because I actually CARE about my grade. Anyway, it took entirely too long to put together the poster than it should have. We went from 10:30 to 12:30, when in reality, since I had everything as far as pictures printed and cut out, it should have been more like a thirty minute, fourty-five minute ordeal. But, it looked good so that's all that matters I suppose....
From then, I slept for a while then woke up because the girls on the side of the hall opposite me were banging on the doors again. I swear, can people in this building not be quiet?! I cannot sleep in this place. I wish I had my own apartment (which is cheaper than a dorm, amazingly) so that it could be quieter, and I could have Chelsea, Josh, Jason, Brad and Chris over when ever I please. I also would be afforded some privacy and I could decorate as I like.
Today's poster session was .... meh.. in my opinion. As the other group members hadn't the foggiest as to what was going on they mainly wandered and did evaluations of other groups, while leaving myself and the other girl to explain our poster. Again, God love the girl, but she has entirely too soft a voice and she, like myself, was a bit miffed on how to explain the project. I mean, what was the purpose? How is this educating anyone? Why? What is the goal being achieved. I need some goals to even out my education here, I need something to set a target on, to aim for. Yes I am ending a sentence with a preposition, got a problem with that? I am tired and thus care not for your english grammar grumblings.
Right now I am exhausted, I still feel pretty crummy, but I don't have the energy to go work out to make myself feel better. It feels like more and more I'm just plain tired. It really bothers me as I feel like that's part of the reason why I'm not achieving like normal. The other part would have to be my general discontent with my college education in general. My dislike of the CAP program seems to grow daily, I feel as though I am getting jipped. However, at the same time, I am loathe to give away the silly little title of 'Honors Student'. How stupid. But then, I suppose, dear reader, if you have seen the walls of my room, you'd know why I like to be the 'Honors Student' and why I value success so highly.
I abhor winter. Why is it so cold? Hmm? Spring, Fall are preferred in my book and Summer is ok, but honestly... winter? grrr....
I feel like I am complaining. I despise complaining. It make me feel bad about myself and makes me feel weak. I am not weak, and I am not a complainer. I shall stop this blog post, but hopefully it will be enough to appease one of my dear readers.
I end with this.
The shoelaces shall be mine.
God bless ya'll
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